#27 - Jean Shorts On Men























Can anyone tell me why the following is true?

Jeans = Personification of Cool

Jean Shorts = Antithesis of Cool

It's one of the great mysteries of the universe.

I should make it clear that by this I am not referring to jean shorts that you earned by wearing a pair of jeans until the legs came off. No. I am only talking about jean shorts that were manufactured deliberately as shorts. And even then only in terms of menswear. Womenswear designers have somehow circumvented this rule. But on a guy, a pair of factory tooled jean shorts are a nightmare.

Try this little experiment next time you're at a flea market or a swap meet or street fair. Find the tool who brought a parrot or a snake or a monkey with him and is parading around like it makes him cool. Now look at his legs. Bingo! Manufactured jean shorts. Every time.

Adding to the oddity of this phenomenon is the fact that uncut jeans are very cool. This raises the question: Is the essence of cool contained in the section of your jeans that covers the area between your knees and the tops of your feet? And if this is the case, would a pair of denim legwarmers be the coolest piece of clothing ever?

I am a big supporter of Levis jeans. They make a ton of styles and they last forever. I think every guy should just take an afternoon, go try on all the Levis they have at your local department store and figure out which fit you like. I discovered that the 569s are the way to go for me, and you can get them in many interesting washes: faded, dark, black, even this weird cammo blue cargo that I rock sometimes. The all-encompassing Levi fitting may sound daunting, but it's actually a one-shot time investment which will save you a lot of aggravation in the long run. This is because once you know which Levi fits you best, you can buy them without trying them on, over the Internet, however you want. And if you spy a particularly amazing pair of jeans elsewhere, you can augment your solid Levi lineup with those.

You can also rest easy knowing this will never happen to you:

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a lover of tattered jeans, especially the kind that you've worn in yourself, I think you should include in your photographic choices what is acceptable and even rightous in the way of wearable jean shorts. The freakshows and tennesse waterfalls ARE entertating. In the imortal words of STevei Wonder: Tell Me Something GooD!

Anonymous said...

That first photo has to be photo shopped. It's killing me.

Chris Connolly said...

Check out further thoughts on shorts at the end of this post:

http://fthefollowing.blogspot.com/2008/06/19-all-mens-shorts-having-side-pockets.html

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