#90 - What's With All The Orange Guidos?

A couple questions:

1. New Yorkers, New Jersiers, do you guys actually see these people walking around?

2. How did this trend start and why does it continue?

3. If you apply so much fake tanning product to your face that you look like a tangerine, don't you stay home, even if it is Friday night?

4. Who is formulating this incredibly powerful fake tanning stuff? Freakin' Eskimos who have no idea what a tan is supposed to look like?

"Nanook. Do you think this looks "tan?"

"Tan? What is this "tan" of which you speak? Is that the kind of snow where it's really sloppy and wet and then it freezes into like a crunchy kind of icy topcoat and it's really slippery?"

"No, silly Agloolik. Tan is what happens to your skin when you are exposed to the sun."

"Sun? Is that the kind of snow..."


Ay oh! Oh Ay! I'm pointin' here!

Okay, these guys are actually pretty good looking and they seem to be having fun.

The dude on the right, I believe, is one of the Prompalloopas you'll see below. That means this is an actual pattern of behavior for him. Cool!

Ah the Prompaloompas. A night they'll never forget.

What was the theme of that year's prom? The Dangers of Global Warming? Life on the Sun?

Check out my man in red. He's having all the fun of a henpecked husband taking out a particularly stinky bag of trash.

No, Glen seriously, it looks fine. Please put me down now.

This guy parties with PLAYOFF INTENSITY!

Holy hell! Why did you allow someone to take your picture?

Galaxy of kissyface d00ds.

You know, it looks silly to me, but if it works on the ladies, fuck it. Carry on, good sir.


Chappy93 said...

impressive compilation of douchitude!
Do you think it is possible that the flash of the cameras makes the fake tan look worse than it really does? somehow that's the only way i can rationalize this behavior... if you actually saw the fakeness of the color in the mirror, wouldn't you just be humiliated and stay home? Or just put on a red nose, big shoes and rock it crazy style?

Louie said...

Chris, I recommend hotchickswithdouchbags.com and njguido for compendium of fakey tan

Anonymous said...

Remember is was said of John Bohner, republican house minority leader that his color was nothing ever seen in humanity before. Yours Sam Seley

Maria said...

The body building guy on right is KILLING me. He looks like the Thing from Fantastic 4. Also Chris, interesting creative license you took with spelling of "Guidoes". Why not just Guidos?

Chris Connolly said...

You're right. I googled it and guidoes returned quite a bit of info, but looking at it now, guidos is definitely better.

Anonymous said...

Fascinating human behavior. Like watching a car accident, I don't want to look but I can't help it. Comedy writing note though, Eskimos are actually very tanned since they live in an area that is often covered with light reflecting snow and they are Indians. Air temp has nothing to do with it.
Funny stuff.