#112 - Here's a Headline I'm Not That Psyched About...

NASA Falling Short of Asteroid Detection Goals!

Dear NASA Guys and Gals:
Can I just be the first to urge you to STEP IT THE FUCK UP?!?! This is important! This IS rocket Science, or the closest thing to it, and you're the best we've got. Look, according to that story "The United States is the only country that currently has an operating survey/detection program for discovering near-Earth objects." So.... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! Look into my eyes! Right here! I need your attention RIGHT HERE! Listen to the sound of my voice: There. Is. No. Wiggle. Room. On. This. One. I don't care have goddamn long you've been up! Fix this!

And where the hell is China on this thing? Look, the Chinese are just getting their shit together and now they're going to ignore this? I mean, you can only logically conclude that an asteroid strike would kill a lot more Chinese people than anyone else so... WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEIR SCIENTISTS?

Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell.

Look, I'm passionate about this because I care. Okay. I know. I'm sorry I lost my temper. I know it's not productive and it throws you off your game. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Look. Come out from under your desk. Please. Please. There's no time to waste. There you go. Can I get you something? A Mountain Dew? A tea? An ergonomic backrest thing? I really need your best work on this one. You're okay? Good. Carry on then. You're doing great. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all. I'll just stand over here to the side and watch you work.

#111 - A Salute to Brooms

BROOM (bro̵̅o̅m, bro̵om)
A bundle of long, stiff fibers or straws (originally twigs of broom) fastened to a long handle, used for sweeping. In baseball, when the home team is close to accomplishing a sweep (having won the first two games of a three game series or the first three games of a four game series) some fans will bring brooms to the ballpark and brandish them as a way of taunting the other team.

Nimbus 2000, a very fine flying broom used for playing quidditch.

A nice selection of household brooms.

These brooms would be good for a small shop or business.

Couples jump over these wedding brooms in African marriage ceremonies.

These are larger "push" brooms and some squeegees.

#110 - Now You Know...

Saw the graphic above this afternoon. It's available as a t shirt. Very clever. Is it me or are 80-85% of people around my age now running ironic t shirt companies? How did I miss this trend? How can I get a job designing ironic t shirts? Well, consider this my online audition. Here's an 80s-themed ironic graphic just right for your next t shirt. (Click on the graphic to expand.) I can be contacted through this site.