NASA Falling Short of Asteroid Detection Goals!
Dear NASA Guys and Gals:
Can I just be the first to urge you to STEP IT THE FUCK UP?!?! This is important! This IS rocket Science, or the closest thing to it, and you're the best we've got. Look, according to that story "The United States is the only country that currently has an operating survey/detection program for discovering near-Earth objects." So.... GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! Look into my eyes! Right here! I need your attention RIGHT HERE! Listen to the sound of my voice: There. Is. No. Wiggle. Room. On. This. One. I don't care have goddamn long you've been up! Fix this!
And where the hell is China on this thing? Look, the Chinese are just getting their shit together and now they're going to ignore this? I mean, you can only logically conclude that an asteroid strike would kill a lot more Chinese people than anyone else so... WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEIR SCIENTISTS?
Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell.
Look, I'm passionate about this because I care. Okay. I know. I'm sorry I lost my temper. I know it's not productive and it throws you off your game. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Look. Come out from under your desk. Please. Please. There's no time to waste. There you go. Can I get you something? A Mountain Dew? A tea? An ergonomic backrest thing? I really need your best work on this one. You're okay? Good. Carry on then. You're doing great. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all. I'll just stand over here to the side and watch you work.