#56 - I Bet Most People Who Shop At Big And Tall Stores Aren't Tall

But having said that, the word "Tall" in the names of those stores is pretty important, isn't it? It leaves a little wiggle room. It lets big fat guys walk in there thinking, "Ha! No one knows which I am!"

See, now I'm pretty sure that's funny. But only yesterday I was in the grips of an existential crisis regarding the nature of "funny."

Joy and I were at Trader Joe's and we ran into one of her professors. Her professor was accompanied by her, I'll say, 9-year-old daughter, and they were both looking a little preoccupied. We asked what was wrong and the professor said, "Well, we're a little nervous because my daughter accidentally ingested some printer ink. So we're here looking for something that will sooth her stomach and make her feel less nervous."

So I said, "You should eat an eraser."

And I got... nothing. They just stared at me!

What the hell? Is that not funny? And if that's not funny, then what is funny? Who am I? Is up still up and down still down? And more importantly, are the Giants still Superbowl Champions?

I remember my brother once called me up to check if the fundamental laws of the funny had changed. He was sitting on the bus and a woman got on with a big plant. She sat down across from him with the plant between her legs and he leaned over and whispered: "I still see you, you know!"

HA! Okay. Everything's fine.

What Did The Connollys Have For Dinner Last Night?
Maple Syrup and Cranberry Mustard Glazed Pork Loin Roasted with Potatoes, Apples, Brussel Sprouts and Carrots. Beers.


Joshua said...

Definitely funny, but far too highbrow for a lowbrow college professor.

There is a mathematical law of funny that says the funny will always be commensurate with the overall amount of irony found in the population. That joke woulda killed in NYC, LA or London. In Madison WI your Irony ratio is way to low.

Anonymous said...

He probably thought you were silly. Erasers only work when you eat a pencil. She obviously needed to drink some white out.