#64 - Underachieving Billionaires

So, did we all hear about this? Apparently, 74-year-old German billionaire Adolf Merckle, one of the world's wealthiest men, committed suicide yesterday evening by throwing himself in front of a train. According to his family, the economic crisis "broke" Merckle, as he saw his wealth shrink from an estimated $12.8 billion to $9.2 billion and his Forbes ranking among the world's 100 wealthiest humans plummet from 44th in '07, to 94th this year.

What I find really dispicable about this story isn't that Merkle took a coward's route and abandoned his family. Nor is it the idea that he couldn't face life with only nine billion dollars. I get that. A fifty notch drop on the Forbes list is a tough pill to swallow. What ticks me off is that he chose to step in front of a train.

Seriously, Merks? You have NINE BILLION DOLLARS at your disposal and that's what you come up with? Jeez man, at least shoot yourself into space or drown yourself in 50-year-old scotch or hire a bunch of mercenaries to hunt you down in a Black Forrest version of Game of Death... or something! Stepping in front of a train is a horrible way to go. Believe me, you won't see my man Madoff stepping front of any trains should he decide to give up the fight. Madsy's got more gumption and imagination than that. He'll at least arrange to eat the world's most delicious, yet poisonous mushroom, or overdose on black opium while being pleasured by four of the world's top five ranked geishas.

Billionaires: You're not holding up your end lately. Get it together.


Anonymous said...

Hmmm. If I were a suicidal billionaire how would I choose to go? Interesting question. How about...death by chocolate. I eat chocolate until I'm stuffed without concern for calories, then go for a swim in a pool of melted chocolate while drunk on Godiva liqueur (before waiting 30 minutes after I ate that slice of Devil's Food Cake), and drown.

Anonymous said...

well at least the story allowed me to talk at work today about Anna Kareninna [to which my young colleague said what is Anna Kareninna?"!!!!}
What a contrasting set of train stories with the age old motives such as......love vs. money...