#86 - Two Ingredients: Meat and Lasers.

As we all recently learned, business cards are important! But if you're like me, while you appreciate the idea of business cards, you don't actually break into your stack of cards very often. For me, the business card scenario goes something like this: I get 500 new, updated cards; I give out about 50 out to the people who have my old card, saying, "Hey, here's my new business card," then I keep 450 cards in my desk until the next update.

What I really need is a functional card; a card that not only tells people who I am, but also satisfies some utilitarian purpose to justify the real estate it takes up in my wallet. The ultimate for me would be one of these cards below that double as a lockpick set.
Unfortunately, there are three disadvantages to the lockpick cards: 1. I am a writer, not a superspy (as far as you know,) and have neither the need to carry lockpicks nor the skill to use them; 2. It is illegal to carry lockpicks around with you if you're not a locksmith; 3. The lockpick cards are more of a concept item other than an actual retail possibility.

Another great card for me would be a throwing star business card, because then you could be like, "Hey, take my card... in your EYE!" Or, if the guy you're giving the card to is in a rush and can't wait around, you could just say, "Oh, that's cool. Run!" and then whip the card into his shoulder. But, again, I'm not a ninja (as far as you know,) and if I did carry throwing star cards I would definitely forget about them and try to board a plane and end up in jail.
So, what's left for a drifting fan of business cards? What card would convey my contact information as well as my love of food? How about a meatcard?
I was reading uncrate.com this morning when I saw a link to meatcards.com. Meatcards are made from 100% beef jerky onto which your contact info is then seared with a 150-watt CO2 laser beam. As the site says, "These business cards have two ingredients: meat and lasers."

Yeah. That sounds about right to me.