#7 - Ads for Sonic. No Sonics.

I think what annoys me most about the fact that there are thousands of Sonic ads, but no actual Sonics, is that Sonic seems like a pretty great place. Those slushy iced drinks look to be some kind of next-level refreshment, and the breakfast burrito with tater tots in it? Please. I'd murder one of those. And yet, I can't have one, because, although Sonic runs near constant ads everywhere I've lived--New York, San Diego, Wisconsin--there aren't any Sonics in any of those places. In fact, according to the Sonic Locator (www.sonicdrivein.com/locator,) the closest sonic to me right now is in Davenport, Iowa. Right. Like that could ever be verified! Who came up with the business plan to buy ad time in the country's most expensive media markets but not establish any actual restaurants there? The Underpants Gnomes? The New Coke Guy? Maybe "Sonic," the concept, is some kind of postmodern underground anti-advertising movement like those Andre The Giant Has A Posse stickers. Or maybe it's a large-scale psychological experiment to see if mass media can implant memories of things we never experienced into our brains? Maybe in 40 years we'll all be sitting around having conversations about the great times we think we had at Sonic...

"Hey man, remember when we used to sit in the car saying snarky
things about the newest offering from Sonic?"

"Yeah, dude. We were so alive back then!"



John said...

We had a Sonic down the road from us when we lived in Oklahoma. Their lighted sign, meant to be viewed by passing motorists, featured such waggish aphorisms as "Seven days without Sonic makes one weak."
It was for this reason that I did not patronize the establishment.

Calm Audison said...

Wait... there's really an Oklahoma?