By what right, Mr. Dry Cleaner, did you put a staple in my shirt? I respect that you need some kind of labeling system to sort your charges by owner, but staples? Really? There's nothing else you could use there? Staples just seem so analog. Not to mention that they leave little twin punctures in the shirt. Isn't there some kind of stickering system we could put in play here? Maybe we could use all the leftover stickers from the fruit. Yes. That would work I think. Or how about twist ties on the hangers? Ever think of that? Look, there are a lot of you guys, and you don't seem to do very much, so if you put your heads together, I'm sure you could sort this out.
And while I'm on the subject of little twin punctures in my shirts, let me just announce I have a new stance on name tags. I used to be a bit of a rebel when it came to Hello My Name Is tags. I'd always try to find some kind of left of center place to affix them--on the thigh, on the upper arm like a military ranking designation. Now, I figure, I'm a father, I'm a big boy with real world responsibilities, so I just don't wear the fuckers at all and everyone can suck it.