#108 - Can You Say "Better Mousetrap?"

No? How about better key chain? Because that's what this is. I've written previously about my lifelong obsession with stripping down and and minimizing the things I carry with me. I'm always on the lookout for a smaller phone, a thinner wallet or a lighter key chain. So when I spotted Scott Amron's Split Key Ring--a key upon which you can keep your other keys--I sprang into action and ordered one. I love waiting for stuff in the mail, and I'm particularly psyched to get my new key.

In case you're curious, Mr. Amron's other inventions include a buoyant spoon...

a glass of water/clock that tells time via evaporation...

a toothbrush that redirects water for easy rinsing...

and whole bunch of products fabricated from non-conductive material that allow you to take advantage of your extra outlets.

While I was rereading my thoughts on carrying things I also spotted this little piece: 21 Ways To Thrive in the Recessed Economy. We probably need this information now more than ever so I'm posting it again.

21 Ways To Thrive in the Recessed Economy

1. If you can’t get bread to eat, just have some nice cake.

2. Next time someone gives you a fish, thank him, but then try to learn where he found it and how he managed to capture it.

3. Get you some pencils, put 'em in a cup, and sell 'em. Or apples. Apples is good sellin'.

4. Patronize uglier hookers.

5. Since you're NOT giving up happy hour, drink cocktails with some nutritional value: bloody marys, pina coladas, martinis with extra olives, etc.

6. All You Can Eat (Not a bargain, a CHALLENGE!)

7. Cut down on toilet paper expenditures by training your ass muscles to pinch off your poops clean, or...

8. ...shop your workplace for everyday items like toilet paper, light bulbs, plants, liquid hand soap, those brown paper towels, etc...

9. Learn to cook pets. Animal shelters are a great source of free exotic meats.

10. Babysit!

11. Go to your town’s financial district. Wait for the stockbrokers to start jumping out the windows. Take their watches and wallets.

12. Never stop breastfeeding.

13. Okay, this is kind of complicated. 1. Start a munitions and defense contracting company. 2. Make friends with highly-placed political insiders. 3. Get elected vice president of the United States. 4. Start a war. 5. Gently usher all munitions sales and defense contacts to the company from step 1. 6. Repeat steps 4 and 5.

14. If you work in an office, learn to eat non-dairy creamer.

15. Push your kid relentlessly until it either gets drafted by the Yankees, wins American Idol, or becomes Steven Speilberg's protégé.

16. When deciding which of your friends you will eat in a pinch, base your selection not on which friend you think would be the most delicious, but on which one will provide the most sustenance while requiring the least caloric expenditure to kill.

17. Find oil

18. Get a job as a janitor in a department store and work there until the son of a captain of industry takes a fancy to you and requests you as his birthday present. For a while, you’ll have problems suffering the indignity of serving as a human “toy,” but eventually, you’ll both learn a lot about the nature of friendship—and money can’t buy that kind of understanding.

19. Just lower the poverty line. Duh.

20. Warning: Do not cut off your hair to buy your husband a watch chain, because he already sold the watch to buy you a comb!

21. Get a totally better job that totally pays more.

[NOTE: This content produced for Desert Living Magazine]


Jeff9 said...

Better than toilet paper; This covers all the bases = saves you money, helps the environment, helps your health, makes you feel better, it's so easy to do and it costs less than $50.00; Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off” Available at www.bathroomsprayers.com with these you won't even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! Don’t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without feeling guilty. It's cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You'll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. As for water use a drought is always a concern and must be dealt with prudently but remember the water use of industrial users far exceeds the water use of household users and in the case of toilet paper manufacture it is huge. The pollution and significant power use from that manufacturing process also contributes to global warming so switching to a hand bidet sprayer and lowering your toilet paper use is very green in multiple ways.